My first lesson with Blake involved Facebook.
BLAKE: Oh my God! Are we going to compare mutual friends?
This was going to be a bloodbath.
ME: No, we're going to delete friends.
BLAKE: I'm going to have to cry and then kill you.
Since it was clear that Blake's life was full of drama, I thought the first place to clear away the social debris was the social network.
ME: Blake, your Facebook is a magnet for trouble.
BLAKE: What are you talking about?
ME: You have four relationships, four break-ups, a feud with some guy named 'Stoney Joe,' and nineteen passive aggressive statuses with hearts all on the same day of newsfeed.
BLAKE: That's called a life, K-Broc.
ME: That's called we're hitting the restart button.
I decided to take things slow.
First we defriended everyone that Blake wasn't actually friends with--
BLAKE: NO! Not Taylor!
ME: You like Taylor?
BLAKE: I loathe Taylor.
ME: So why are you friends with Taylor?
BLAKE: Keep your friends close.
ME: And defriend your enemies.
BLAKE: Ugh, I hate slash love slash wanna punch you.
ME: Slash your friends list, then we'll talk.
By the time we were done defriending and removing embarrassing posts from his wall, all he had was--
BLAKE: My favorite movies and a wall post from my grandma.
Well, it's a start.