Friday, June 26, 2009

Thou Shalt Start with the Man in Thy Mirror

If my life were an Elton John song, it would be 'Levon.'


But if this particular moment in my life were an Elton John song, it would be 'Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word.'

ANTHONY: Okay, that makes more sense.

After leaving Anthony seventeen voicemails a day (don't think you can out-stalk me, it's impossible) he finally agreed (aka was eroded enough) to see me.

ME: I'm sorry that I accused you of only wanting friends for orgies and alcoholism.
ANTHONY: That's not exactly how you put it, but I accept your apology.
ME: I just think you're a great guy. You deserve a better quality of life.
ANTHONY: But Kevin, I've done everything you've told me to do, and my life keeps getting worse.
ME: That's because you still have so much baggage left over from your Mean Girl days.
ANTHONY: And what am I supposed to do about that?
ME: What any recovering addict does--


ANTHONY: Oh no. I'm Italian. We don't believe in apologizing. We believe in grudges and hair gel.
ME: You don't have to apologize to everyone. I just think it would be nice if you offered some sort A peace offering.
ME: Well...

We wound up at karaoke. Without telling Anthony, I signed him up to sing. When he found out, he was less than pleased.

ANTHONY: How is this an apology?
ME: It's an apology through song.
ANTHONY: I'm going to make an idiot out of myself.
ME: That's the point! People will see that you're not trying to hold onto this ridiculous image anymore. Plus, they can laugh at you, which always helps the forgiveness process.
ANTHONY: I don't know, Kev...
ME: I'll be right behind you.
ANTHONY: Supporting me?
ME: Yes...and doing back-up.

Before the music even started, I had assembled a small group of supporters to give Anthony the ummph, he needed.

BRAD: Ummph?
ME: Just shut up and cheer.

The rest was going to be up to him.

VOICE: Next up--Anthony!

Mild applause, until I shot my table looks and then everyone cheered. Assembled were Brad, myself, AJ, Aaron, and Alicia.

ALICIA: After this, can I sing 'Dirty Diana?'
ALL: No!

'I'm going to make a change...'

The second he started, I knew he had it. The crowd loved him. The same group of people that had been giving him dagger eyes at Pride were smiling and singing along.

At one point in the song, Anthony looked over at me and gave me the thumbs up.

It was a little bit like The

Great. I can't even think of The Sandlot without crying.

Let's just say I'm glad I got my protege back.

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