Thou Shalt Not Dumb It Down

Aaron is intimidated.

AARON: He's completely unimpressed by my intelligence.

...By stupidity.

He met a new guy who he really liked, but it became evident pretty quickly that this guy was no...uh...

BRAD: He's an idiot.

Thank you, Brad.

The three of us were having dinner at Andrea's discussing Aaron's dilemma.

BRAD: There is no dilemma. Why would you want to date someone dumber than you are?
AARON: Isn't it just as shallow to discriminate against someone because of their intelligence quotient as it would be to judge them for their looks?
ME: That's a very good point, Aaron.
BRAD: Plus, you think he's hot, right?
AARON: Oh my gosh, totally hot.

Herein lies the problem: How do you stay smart if you're dating someone--

BRAD: Moronic.

--not quite as smart as you are?

AARON: Should I try to make him smarter?
BRAD: What are you going to do? Enroll him in an Art History course?
AARON: It wouldn't matter anyway. It almost seems like...he doesn't mind...being...not so bright.
ME: He probably doesn't. Sadly, at this period in our history, gay men are the social equivalent of Valley Girls.
BRAD: Bummer.

I know, definitely not rad, man.

AARON: So what should I do?
ME: Just be yourself.

Go-to, cliche advice, I know. But it works!

AARON: He doesn't want to see me anymore.

...Okay 'works' is a general term.

AARON: He says he doesn't 'get me.'
ME: And by 'you,' he means--
AARON: Anything I say. He says it's like listening to a zebra talk.
ME: Zebras don't talk.
AARON: I'm sure he knows that. I mean, I wouldn't bet on it, but--
ME: Aaron, if he can't appreciate you for the smartass you are, then forget him.
AARON: Is it bad that I wish I had dumbed it down just a little?
ME: Why?
AARON: So I could have gotten to sleep with him. I hear dumb guys are, like, wicked good in bed.
ME: I'm going to hang up now. Go do some math.

I hear fractions are the new cold showers.