Game Shows
Good Books
Googling Myself
But now I was ready for another Heavy G.
My 25th Birthday.
BRAD: Congratulations, you're old. Where's the booze?
What better place to celebrate than Cheesecake Factory? And what better people to celebrate with than Brad and my Merry Band of Proteges?
AARON: So Kev, is this going to be another test?
ME: What do you mean, Aaron?
AJ: Come on, we know you wouldn't get us all together and not teach us some dumb lesson.
ANTHONY: Is this going to a challenge about eating better?
ALICIA: Developing our culinary tastes?
BRAD: Picking what wine to serve with...more wine?
ME: Okay, I give, but the challenge is a lot more fun than that.
That was when the waiter appeared.
WAITER: Can I start you all out with drinks?
ME: Actually, could you come back in a minute?
WAITER: Sure thing.
He went on his way, and I divulged my challenge.
ME: I want one of you to get the waiter's number.
They all looked dumbfounded...which is sort of their default look, but nevertheless...
AARON: What?
AJ: You want us to--
ANTHONY: Get Pretty Boy's number?
ALICIA: But aren't we supposed to be learning to be--
BRAD: Not slutty?
ME: That's the point. I want you to get the number without being too overt.
AJ: Uh...
ME: Obvious, Anthony.
AJ: Maybe it's obvious to you, but that doesn't mean I know what the word is. I don't have an English--Oh, it means 'obvious,' doesn't it?
BRAD: This should be rich.
Alicia raised her hand.
ALICIA: But what am I supposed to do?
ME: You're joining in.
ANTHONY: I'm not into that.
ME: I mean, you're going to try and get his number too. I did a little research before I came tonight, and it turns out Jerry--
AJ: His name is Jerry? Like Tom and Jerry?
ME: --He goes both ways. So y'all have equal opportunity.
BRAD: I'm going to need more wine.
I could see that they were going to need a little push.
ME: Hey, none of you have to participate. If you think you can't get the number---
AJ: Whoa, who said 'can't?'
ANTHONY: I could get his number.
AARON: Yeah, he's not that hot.
ALICIA: And I'm wearing my deceptive bra.
That was easy.
AARON: What do we get if we get the number?
ME: The rest of us buy your dinner.
AJ: Really?
ME: And mine, because it's my birthday.
ANTHONY: We'd have to pay for two people?
AJ: Oh, it's on now.
Let the games begin.
Player #1: Aaron
WAITER: What will you be having?
AARON: What would you recommend?
WAITER: The swordfish is good.
AARON: Have you...eaten it?
WAITER: Uh, yeah.
AARON: I see...
WAITER: So do you want it?
AARON: The swordfish?
WAITER: Yeah.
AARON: No, I don't like fish.
WAITER: Okay.
AARON: Do you hate me?
WAITER: I...um...maybe I should come back.
Wow...just wow.
Player #2: AJ
WAITER: How's your salad?
AJ: It's fantastic. Want to try some?
WAITER: I actually can't do that.
AJ: Sure you can.
WAITER: No, I can't.
AJ: Fine, be like that.
WAITER: Okay. I'll be back later to check on you.
AJ caved a little early.
Player #3: Anthony
WAITER: How's your meal?
ANTHONY: Great. Hey, don't I know you?
WAITER: No, you don't.
ANTHONY: I swear I do.
WAITER: Pretty sure you don't.
ANTHONY: You ever go to Tago's?
WAITER: Never.
ANTHONY: Boo Boo's?
WAITER: Nope.
ANTHONY: How about Dazzle?
WAITER: Is that even a place?
ANTHONY: This steak sucks.
So much for the 'Don't I know you?' approach.
Player #4: Alicia
WAITER: Would you like dessert?
ALICIA: Would you like a lady tonight?
WAITER: I'll bring the check.
...Choo Choo...Choo Choo...CRASH!
AARON: Well, that was a disaster.
AJ: At least we're not buying two dinners.
ME: What makes you say that?
ANTHONY: Kev, that was horrible.
ALICIA: Mortifying.
AJ: We failed you, K-Brock.
ME: Oh, absolutely. But you're still buying two dinners.
ALL: Huh?
They all looked down towards the other end of the table.
BRAD: Sorry guys. I guess he likes the strong, silent type.
ME: Or he's a drunk looking for a co-dependence partner.
BRAD: Either way, I'm glad I got the lobster. Cheers!
Cheers.
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