Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thou Shalt Get Shitfaced


BRAD: Now we're talking.

I don't do it, but I do know that a lot of people make horrific social blunders while intoxicated.

BRAD: For instance, I befriended you while drunk.


I decided to have the proteges get a little tipsy and then interact in a social setting. I admit, it's a little like the Cheat Locker on Dance Your Ass Off, but if my tiny birds are going to learn to fly, they better learn to do it after a few cocktails.

AARON: Kevin, I've been trying to cut back on my drinking.
ME: Anthony!
AJ: Let's suck some back!
ALICIA: He's talking about drinking, right?

We all went out to a bar where nobody would know us--some place called Cruel or Crass or something with a "Cr-"

BRAD: Crabs, maybe?

From the looks of the place...maybe.

It took a few drinks, but pretty soon, I could see devastation looming on the horizon.

ALICIA: I should call that guy I slept with who pretended not to like me afterwards.
AJ: I should call that hot guy who licked whipped cream off me at the carnival.
AARON: I should confess my love to someone.
ANTHONY: I should throw up.
BRAD: I should have sterilized my bar stool before sitting.


ME: Okay kids, here's where we take all that bad drunken energy and turn it into something positive.
ANTHONY: By throwing up?
ME: Nooo--drinking and doing stupid stuff is just like any other addiction. You have to replace it with something else.
AJ: Like what?

Take it away, Miss Knight.

ALICIA: Mmm...LA...grew too much for the man...
AJ, ANTHONY, and AARON: Too much for the man, he couldn't TAKE it!

Drunken karaoke. Harmless fun, and really entertaining for those of who stay sober enough to watch it.

BRAD: I need another drink.

To each his own.

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