Monday, October 4, 2010

Thou Shalt Make the Video

I talked the guys into making a video for the "It Gets Better" project, but Boone, being the heterosexual of the group, was put in charge of operating the camera.

Thinking about Boone's potentially being in the closet was preventing me from worrying about the fact that Byron was still VERY much in the closet when it came to the guys.

ME: Why don't you want to tell them.
BYRON: Because I'm not ready to dive into the gay life yet, Kevin.
ME: It's not like moving to England, Byron. You don't have to learn a new language.
BYRON: Um...
ME: Oh God, I'm turning stupid.
BYRON: What's wrong with you?
ME: I have some stuff on my mind.

Brody wasn't helping.

BRODY: Can't we do this next week after I get my haircut?
ME: Brody, you don't need to look good for this.
BRODY: You ALWAYS need to look good!
ME: This is supposed to be you speaking from the heart.
BRODY: Why can't I speak from the heart with good hair?
ME: Brody--
BRODY: It's a lot easier for me to inspire others when I look inspiring.
ME: This video isn't a way for you to get people to tell you how cute you are. It's a way to help others selflessly.
BOONE: K-Broc, do you still want to borrow my shirt that makes you look like you have muscle?
ME: Yes, please!

Brody shot me a look.

ME: Hey, I'm not wearing it on-camera!

Things weren't going much better with Bowie.

BOWIE: I finished my video at home and uploaded it.
ME: Wow, good for you Bowie.
BOWIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are bigger issues to discuss.
ME: Like what?
BOWIE: Like the fact that we've got a close case in our midst.

Cue dramatic music.

ME: Huh?
BOWIE: Don't play dumb with me. You've been withholding information.
ME: Bowie, that's not--
BOWIE: Look, I did my good deed for the day, which means I'm allowed a little bit of gossip. You can't just pull the cigarette out of my mouth, Broccoli. I'm going to need weaning.
ME: This conversation is over.
BOWIE: Fine, but that means I'm right.
ME: You're not right.
BOWIE: You don't even know who I'm talking about.
ME: Who else would you be--

Damn! Wait a second, he might mean Byron or Boone.

This was bad.

BOWIE: So I'm right, aren't I?


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