Friday, September 4, 2009

Thou Shalt Dive In Headfirst

We have reached graduation.

AARON: That water is going to be freezing.

Some people would suggest a firewalk.

BRAD: Those people belong in straight-jackets.

I concur.

AJ: Wait, we're getting naked, right?
ALL: No!

I thought that nothing would be more symbolic of this amazing summer journey than a walk into the ocean.

ANTHONY: My nipples are already hard.

I hadn't anticipated such a drastic weather change.

ALICIA: Kevin, it's going to be freezing.
AARON: Can't we just dip our toes in?
ME: No way! We are all going to do this! Besides, we all spent money on new bathing suits, didn't we?
AJ: I repeat, I thought we were getting naked.

I didn't care if I was walking into freezing cold water. I had won my bet with Brad, and in the process, had made four new friends.

BRAD: I'd cry if my tear ducts weren't frozen.
ME: Admit it, Brad. I did it.
BRAD: Yes, you did. I guess I'll have to get you next time, Gadget.
ANTHONY: Let's do this already!

We all ran--it was the only way.

We ran right into the water, and instantly began screaming.

They were screams of joy...mostly joy...a little bit of joy.

A lot of cold.

ALICIA: I think I just went barren.
AARON: Is that a sheet of ice?
ANTHONY: Kev, I thought we were being rewarded? Kev?

Brad and I had made it a few feet in, then ran back out again onto the sand.

I told myself I was admiring the tableau of the proteges-turned-graduates in the water.

In reality, I was just plain old f**king freezing.

ME: So...?
BRAD: Is this it? Is this the end?
ME: Yes, Brad. Summer's over. It's cold. This is it.
BRAD: So you wouldn't be interested in...?
ME: In what?
BRAD: Well, I was thinking maybe...double or nothing?
ME: No. No. No!

That was when he took the five hundred dollars out of his pocket.

BRAD: One for every new little bird you teach to fly.

And I thought--Don't be greedy. Don't be crazy. Just say--

ME: Make it six fifty.
BRAD: Deal.

Spring semester, anyone?

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